I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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