We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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