So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
