she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
