Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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