My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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