He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
