why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
