so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
