Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
