some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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