everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
