I seem to have left my pride at pride
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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