no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
