Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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