Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
