break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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