xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
