i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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