so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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