i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
