I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
