She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
