Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
