How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
