Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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