Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
