I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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