Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
