A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
