once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
