What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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