Farmville is her only friend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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