ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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