smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
