so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
