Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
