And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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