Quick, to the slutcave!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize