he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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