Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
