can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
