the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
