And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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