You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
