but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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