You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
