I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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