Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
