I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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