lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize