what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
