The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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