We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
