what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want to make out with him forever
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
