I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize