Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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