i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
