How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
