I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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