is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
