It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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