just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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