I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize