It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
